Lee Hui Xin

To be honest, I didn’t apply for the PSC scholarship. I have always wanted to be a teacher – it is my passion and the only job I have wanted to do ever since I was a little girl. I really was aiming for the Education Merit Scholarship (EMS), or really, any teaching scholarship. So it was to my great surprise that I was offered the Overseas Merit Scholarship (Teaching) (OMS(T)) now known as the PSC Scholarship (Teaching), especially since I had explicitly told the panel that I prefer the EMS! On hindsight the teaching scholarship actually gave me greater flexibility in my university course choices, because the EMS would not have permitted me to do an undergraduate degree in Education (ironically), or the masters programme in Education I chose, as the EMS restricted you to taking core curriculum subjects (at least it did in those days). I’m so thankful to God and to the panel for giving me that opportunity. 

I had applied for the CAAS Scholarship (just because I had a place in Cambridge and half wanted to go) and had cleared the first round but the moment I heard I was offered a teaching scholarship, I immediately withdrew. I also applied for the Nanyang Technological University (NTU) scholarship as I honestly felt I didn’t need an overseas education to be a teacher (I couldn’t afford to go on my own, anyway). Teaching was my first love and that was all I was concerned about, so it made my choice much easier. 

Being a PSC scholarship holder, I had the opportunity to attend several milestone courses and listen to perspectives from the broader Public Service, such as the Foundation Course, the Preparatory Course and a Trilat Leadership Development Programme. I really enjoyed the chance to meet peers in different spheres of work. Often, as a teacher, I felt like my world view was rather narrow, so it was fun to have the exposure to something different to help me reassess if teaching remains my passion. 

As part of the career path mapped out for me, I had to rotate to other ministries and spent 9 months in MOE’s Planning Division and another 2 years with the Ministry of Defence (MINDEF). MINDEF was not a particularly popular posting in my time though I did enjoy my time there doing communications work for National Service Policy and even had the chance to work on a Clear Communications guide for MINDEF. This was never part of my own personal aspiration nor interest, but I did enjoy the experience and it has broadened my perspective. I was nevertheless extremely happy to return to MOE and to schools. 

I think one struggle is perhaps the burden of the label ‘scholarship holder’. I remember being perceived as arrogant in my first school and needing to work twice as hard to win people over. Scholarship holders are rotated across postings relatively quickly and this can sometimes affect the stability and continuity of the work for other colleagues. Some scholarship holders also come across as being more ambitious and this can lead to a negative impression that scholarship holders will do anything for a promotion. For me, I try to fight against any sense of entitlement and ambition. Taking the PSC scholarship means a commitment to service, since the word ‘minister’ originally meant ‘servant’. I hope people who take up the scholarship do it because they want to serve Singapore and not be served by the scholarship’s benefits. 

I don’t think I have any misconceptions per se, but perhaps one tip I can offer is that there is really freedom to chart your own path. I felt initially that I was trapped by the structured development programme and I had to move at the pace that was laid out for me. In reality, that isn’t true. I had peers who became doctors after a few years in Public Service and the Public Service was flexible enough to provide that opportunity to fulfil their aspirations. Many of my peers from MOE who went for an external posting also requested to return early and to my knowledge, HR facilitated that for them. My best friend who went with me to MINDEF returned early and even taught at Pathlight briefly despite being a specialist. For me, I mourned the fact that I had a very short time teaching and was rapidly asked to go for the next stage of my career. In reality, I have been teaching as a HOD for over 6 years, after deferring my posting numerous times. I’m very grateful that the Public Service considers our personal aspirations in posting and that there is always space to negotiate and do what we really are passionate about. 

Servant-hearted. I know I used a hyphen to get away with it! Many public service officers work long hours thinking of ways to improve the lives of people who will never thank them. It fills me with awe to think that I stand on the shoulders of giants in every part of the Public Service I may work in.

Make sure you’re applying for the scholarship because you want the job. 4 years of studies is a moment in time compared to the 30 years of working life ahead. It is a privilege to be a PSC scholarship holder and my prayer is for the next generation of leaders to rise up and make a difference.